"You're not alone."

I've heard that a lot. Kinda sounds like crap to me.

Maybe it sounds like crap to you too. Maybe, I don't know, you've tried talking to someone about what's bothering you, about how you feel, and they say something like that. Like, "I completely understand. I know how you feel. But trust me, you're not alone."

And maybe some people are really great and they try to be there for you and check up on you and see how you're doing, asking if you need anything. Maybe they really do understand, empathizing with you because maybe they've been there too. If so, that's awesome.

But what about those of us who really are alone? Or those who are surrounded by people on all sides, yet feel alone? Those suffering from depression brought on by such heavy loneliness? And maybe you feel like that. Like there isn't anything you can do about it, as if it's beyond your control. Maybe you've tried everything you know to do, but you just can't get involved socially, or you just can't make friends, or you just can't seem to engage in conversation with other people because you feel really awkward in groups or crowds.

So what do you do?

Well, I don't know. I don't have an answer for you. If I did I'd be using it myself. I don't think there's any kind of magic solution or system, no specific formula to use to build friendships or get people to invite you to social events. Some people are just "people people" and everyone seems to flock to them, somehow sensing this invisible vibe or, gosh, I don't even know. They just always have a lot of friends and make new ones easily. And then there are those of us who have very few to no friends and we're trying everything we know to do to maintain or find friends, create a social circle (or semi-circle, or even a quarter of a circle...). So what's the difference? Is it that they have a "better" personality? Maybe they're more approachable, more friendly, outgoing, extroverted, etc. Is that it? Hmm, I'm not so sure.

And what if you try to express these thoughts to someone else? (Or maybe there isn't anyone for you to express your thoughts to.) So maybe you spend half an hour talking about how you just feel so alone and you get the above line. The, "I know how you feel, but don't worry about it, you're not alone." How the heck would they freakin know? They're not you. They don't know what thoughts go through your head. Like I said, maybe there are some people who really do get it, maybe some people do understand, and that's cool. Great. Really swell.
But a lot of times, that's just something people say to try to make you feel better.

But it doesn't make me feel any better. It makes me feel worse.

Know why? I'll tell you why. It's because after you spend all this time trying to convey your feelings to someone, and they know what's bothering you, the majority of the time, nothing changes. Things go right back to the way they were. You're still alone. Still friendless. That person that you spent so much time talking to, pouring out your feelings, they just feed you some stupid line and then go on their way, continue with their life and don't bother with you anymore. It's like what you just told them means absolutely nothing.

What is wrong with this picture?

Think about this for a second, especially in the context of spiritual fellowship and one of the biggest principles of Christianity. What was the first thing God observed about Adam, his first human creation? That it wasn't good for man to be alone. Now really think about that. Adam had close fellowship with God himself. Adam already had God, right there, his very own Creator. Yet, God still said that it wasn't good for man to be alone. Funny, don't you think, that God would say that, even though he was right there with Adam. I think it's because we were made to need and desire human relationships. Trying to go through life without friends, especially those who share faith in Jesus, brothers and sisters in Christ, is extremely difficult. I'd even go so far as to say it's dangerous. Not only can loneliness lead to depression and mental unhealthiness, but it's not very fun or enjoyable. Isn't the second greatest commandment to love others? There's a huge emphasis on love. 

John 13:34 -  A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.

And the importance of friendships:

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 -  Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.

Proverbs 27:17  -  As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

But then we come back to the question of: What if I have no one to sharpen my iron? (So to speak.) And again I am without answer. It's really sad though, to consider that so many people out there are so lonely and and feel so overwhelmingly alone when the greatest thing Christians can do is to love one another, to love and accept everyone. There shouldn't be people out there without a friend. There shouldn't be orphans out there without loving families. There shouldn't be teenagers committing suicide because they feel unlovable. There shouldn't.... No, there shouldn't.

If you feel alone and have no one to talk to, please, message me. I don't have any more answers than you do, but I'm a real person, with a real heart, and I care about those out there who feel like no one gives a crap.