Tuesday, July 8, 2014

The Pursuit of Happiness

"I'm really happy that..." (Fill in the blank.) 

Right now, in your current circumstances, in your current situation, what are you happy about? Why does, whatever it is, make you happy? 

Now, is that something you could lose? 













I'm not saying that certain things or people in life can't or shouldn't be a cause of happiness. But what I am saying is that I don't think certain things or people should be your sole cause of happiness.
Being dependent on something or someone else to make you happy is not going to make you happy. At least not permanently. It might last for a little while. It might last as long as everything is good and going the way you want it to. But that can only last for so long. It's only a matter of time before something happens that steals your happiness. It's only a matter of time before that perfect boyfriend/girlfriend lets you down. It's bound to happen eventually. And then what? All your sources of happiness in life have failed you.



 














You see, the way I think of it is, relationships are like roller coasters, unpredictable sometimes from one day to the next; friends come and go throughout life; jobs are not permanent and neither are they guaranteed. And there are an infinite number of other things that so many people base their happiness on, such as financial security and other material things, as well as in other human beings.

The thing about looking to other people to make you happy is...they are people. They are human. They are not perfect. We are all terribly and hopelessly flawed. Even in the best relationships there will be times when those involved mess up. They will screw it up badly. They will disappoint their partners numerous times.
So, is it really fair to expect them to make you happy? Is it really their job? Is it your job to make them happy? I'm not talking about loving and cherishing the people in your life. Of course we should all do that. I'm talking about the source of your happiness.







I believe, personally, that we are all in charge and responsible  for our own happiness, and if we try to put that responsibility onto someone else we will wind up as very unhappy people.

So often, happiness is thought of, maybe unconsciously, as conditional. "As long as my life is going okay, I'm happy." Or, "I'm really happy now that I've found my soul mate." Or even, "I've never been happier! I've got the job, the car, the girl...what more could a guy want?" But, and yeah, here it comes, but, what about if you lose the job? What happens if the car breaks down or gets stolen? What will you do if the girl dumps you? Where would your happiness come from then?


















To me personally, it only makes sense to find happiness in something greater. Something that cannot be taken from you. Something that will not vanish.
I think it's important to know what true happiness means, and where to find it.






Your personal happiness can only be found within yourself. It takes determination and resolve. It takes self-discipline and training your mind to see yourself, your circumstances, your life,  in a new way. A healthier way. But if you come to the realization that you're never going to be truly happy if your happiness depends on something or someone other than you, and you take action and make a conscious effort to change that, then your circumstances won't matter because your ability to be a happy and healthy (not necessarily physically healthy) person doesn't depend on that.

Now, please don't get me wrong here, I'm not by any means claiming that even if you do find your happiness within yourself and you don't rely on anyone else to make you happy, that you are always going to feel happy 100% of the time. Because that just isn't true. Life is full of all kinds of different emotions that we were meant to feel and experience, which is good. What I mean is that certain circumstances don't have to always dictate whether or not we can or should live fulfilling, worthwhile lives.

I think a lot of times, and I speak from my own personal experience, once you're okay with yourself and accept yourself for who you are, and actually get to a point where you like who you are, then it's a lot easier to be okay with where you are in your life and circumstances, whether they are the most ideal or not. And I think that's where true happiness comes in.

Note: I know that not everyone believes the way I do, meaning, not everyone believes in God or considers themselves to be religious, so while I think that true happiness has a lot to do with finding it in God as well as oneself, I purposely left this post free from religious references for the sake of making a point that is relatable to everyone.

(Images found on http://www.pinterest.com/ .)         

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