Fear, Risk, Life

What should you do when you're feeling torn, undecided, unsure? I feel like the answer, or one of the first answers, to that question should be to pray about it. But what if you haven't prayed in a while? At least not a "real" prayer. What if you're not even sure God listens to your prayers, and maybe that's why it's been so long since you last had a conversation with him? Maybe it doesn't even feel like a conversation at all, but rather just you, speaking into the silence until you just give up on it altogether because you only ever get silence in return. So maybe you feel like there's no point. (That's not to say that it's not a good idea or that you shouldn't pray at all.)

Then maybe another answer would be to confide in someone you trust and share how you're feeling. Ask them for their wise counsel. That doesn't mean you should let them make the decision for you, or that you have to take their advice, because ultimately you need to do what's right and what's best for you as a person. You're the only one who truly knows what's right for you. But getting an outside perspective can help you see things you weren't able to see before.

Writing down your feelings and why you're struggling to decide one way or the other might prove to be an essential part of the ultimate decision. I know for myself personally, keeping a journal has been a source of great release for my emotional struggles. It's sort of therapeutic for me, helping me to sort through the spaghetti-like thoughts and emotions inside me. It's also easier to see the positives and negatives of a situation when they're right in front of you in black and white.

It can sometimes be hard not to make snap judgments in situations where there may be strong emotions involved. A lot of times, it's best to give yourself some time, if possible, to step back a bit and think things through before making a decision. Consider what you would choose if emotions weren't involved. Which option would make the most sense? It could be that at a later date, you may not feel the way you're currently feeling, but you may still have to live with the decision you made. Would it still be a good decision then?
When all else fails, bring out the logic. It may take away some of the "magic" for some people, but you've got to admit that it's a pretty good way of making certain decisions.

Ultimately, the choice is yours (in most cases, though there are definitely exceptions, of course). You will have to live with the consequences, whatever they might be. Hopefully the results are positive and will bring you much joy and happiness in life. Or will lead you on a road in which you will eventually find those things along the journey. Life is full of difficult decisions. Sometimes we don't always get it quite right. That's okay. It may not feel okay at the time, but when viewed from the perspective of learning lessons through the pain and hardship, the struggle often times is rewarding and very much worth it on the other side.

We are constantly learning and growing and evolving as individuals (not a reference to Darwinian evolution, please note). We learn as we go. We change. Hopefully in positive ways. But it's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to mess up. We have to allow ourselves room to be human, something I've been learning a lot in recent years. The worst thing you can do is give in to  the fear that you're going to make a mistake or make a wrong decision and not even make a move at all. I know it's scary. Change is scary. Risk is frightening. If you're like me, not knowing how something is gonna turn out can feel paralyzing. But fear robs us of true Life. We can't allow fear to keep us from really living our lives to the fullest and reveling in all the beauty and wonder this world has to offer. The greatest things in life are usually worth the risk.

What will you choose?

XO
B