Dear Reader,
I wanted to take a minute or two (or however many minutes it takes for me to write and then read back over and edit and re-edit this post) to let you know that I really do appreciate that you took the time to read what I've written here. Thank you enormously. Truly.
I also wanted to take the time to let you know that you are special. I mean special as in, unique, one-of-a-kind, genuinely an original. And that's the way it's supposed to be. You're supposed to be unlike anyone else in a bunch of different ways. No two people are exactly alike in their personality, likes, dislikes, interests, passions, dreams. It's good that we are all different. Diversity is a beautiful thing. It would be really boring to be just like Kate or Sarah or Fred or George.
Society as a whole sends a mixed message. They tell you to be who you want to be, be your true self, but they only accept you if who you are fits their idea of who they think you should be. To them it's just too bad if you're too short or too tall or too skinny or too round/curvy or too white or too black or too Asian or too Mexican or too religious or too nice or not rich enough or not successful enough. Sorry, but you're not accepted into the group if you don't have a shiny new car or the latest fashion in clothing. Sucks for you if you're still wearing last season's whatever it is. If you don't have a nice expensive house in the city you're just not good enough. If you can't afford to go out to a fancy 37 course dinner at a fancy palace sized restaurant where the waiter is the king of Narnia and the chef cooks for Obama...well, sorry, you're not invited because if you don't have $78,000,000 in your wallet at all times, you're just not successful enough for them. What a shame.
But is it? Is it really a shame?
It is definitely a shame that society equates success with stuff. Stuff is just that, it's stuff. You didn't come into the world with any stuff and you won't leave with any. It's nice to have while you're here, sure, no doubt. But ultimately, how much does it truly matter? Personally I don't think it matters much at all. What you have doesn't really say much about who you are. About the kind of character you posses. So you have a nice car. What does that say? To me it says, you have a nice car. A used car can be nice. A car you've had for 5-10+ years can be a nice car. So just by looking at your car, I'm not going to automatically assume that you must be a successful person.
Same with having a nice house. You could have a nice house in a decent neighborhood. That doesn't necessarily mean that you are a successful person. Maybe you have the best house ever. Maybe your house is nicer and cooler and radder than Kanye West's. But you still don't feel like you've got your shit together.
My point is this: society's idea of what success means is skewered. It has no real depth. Accomplish the things you want to accomplish because they're your goals, not because anyone else told you or expects you to. Have expectations for yourself that are realistic for you and make efforts to reach them because it's what you want and because you would benefit from them. Go after and work to accomplish things that you will be proud of when you reach the end of your days. Love, peace, family, friendship, generosity, kindness, adventure, connection, diligence, honesty, intelligence, beauty, wonder...the list goes on, compiled of things that matter the most in life. Those are absolutely more valuable than money, status, shiny new things, popularity, fancy restaurants, mansions, yachts, water skis, motorcycles, fashionable clothes, etc.
Everybody has different values, and that's okay. But don't give in to somebody else's definition of success. Define it for yourself. What does it mean for you? Don't hand over your power to somebody else, who doesn't know you or your life, to put expectations or limits on you. Don't let anybody try to tell you what you should be.
The people in your life who truly love and care about you won't be impressed with your stuff or what you're wearing or by your bank account. They're going to be impressed by what's inside you. Your heart. Your character. Your personality. Your thoughts and ideas. Your values and morals. How you view life. Your appreciation for a book or a movie or a sunset. Your laugh, quirks, sense of humor. They're going to love and appreciate all the little things that make up the unique and original person you are. And let me just say, that is 100x better than being "loved" for something that has nothing to do with you at all.
William Shakespeare said, "To thine own self, be true." And I think he was pretty smart.
XO
B
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